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Everyone Needs Theological Education (I’m Not Going Where You Think I Am)

 I suppose that a person who is not an adherent of Christianity would be literally ignorant of certain details, but does any American who lives in Kentucky of all places really not understand why Christians would be sad if you said you’re not a Christian and you don’t want to attend their church? [People are idiots, and some people on social media pretend to be idiots for money.—ed.] Fair enough.

Being Catholic is somewhat easier, in the sense that we don’t anxiously worry about the souls of those practicing other faiths, because God doesn’t condemn ignorance and can lead them to His Son via his own workings. That said, if a Muslim walked straight up to me and demanded to know about Jesus, I won’t miss that hanging curve.

Some crazy fundamentalist wandered into our parish one night before Saturday Vigil Mass, and tried to preach us out of the Catholic Church. I was almost sad that the usher dragged him out. Dude, you’re standing in front of your Beloved right now. Your Savior is right behind you. Unfiltered Catholicism is almost too good to be true. What if all the “cradles” who left were just incredulous that God could love them so much?

A note on fear, though: If Hell is real, only a crazy person ignores it. It’s one thing to say that loving God isn’t supposed to be chiefly characterized by fear. It’s another thing to say that no fear reasonably exists. Predictably, the heathen in the comments believe that we’re all afraid, and that’s why everyone evangelizes their neighbors. Oh, so you do know that Hell is real! Look, you fools: I don’t even want harm to happen to the idiots who fired me. Why would I want a new friend and neighbor to face the eternal wrath of God? And people are free to say that belief in anything supernatural is like believing in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I don’t hold that particular belief, because it’s dumb. Please free us from the arrogance of the highly educated.

Seriously though: Jesus, Heaven, Forgiveness of Sins. Details inside. Services all day.

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