Safe Haven

I was brushing my teeth. 10:15 Central Time. The bathroom closest to the front desk in my university residence hall. Some guy ran in. This is (approximately) what followed: "Dude, someone attacked the World Trade Center. They think 50,000 people might be dead." "C'mon, man, that's not funny." "No, I'm serious. I wouldn't joke about that." I finished brushing, and went to the desk. We had a whiteboard that had all the day's news, sports, and weather. Understandably on this day, it had only one item. In a big box underneath everything was a message: "In spite of everything that has happened, we are not going to judge anyone by his or her skin color, religion, or national origin." Or something like that. I have never been so glad to see such a statement ever before. I guess I'm supposed to hate such spasms of political correctness. But there is nothing more conservative than holding individuals (and them alone) responsible fo...

5 Curious Facts/Opinions About the 2009 St. Louis Cardinals 5. Their NL Central division lead hasn't decreased since July 30. 4. If the Cardinals lost every game for the rest of the season, they would finish with the same number of wins as their 2006 World Championship team. 3. The Cardinals thought that Kyle Lohse would be the team's third-best starting pitcher, (and paid him accordingly) but it has actually been Joel Pineiro. 2. Things are good when your team's fourth-best starter is future Hall of Fame member John Smoltz. 1. The NL Cy Young Award winner will not be a Cardinal, because Chris Carpenter (16-3, 2.16 ERA) will split the vote with his teammate Adam Wainwright (17-7, 2.68 ERA).

5 Things To Do On Labor Day, 2009 5. Count the hours to the Cards-Brewers matchup, lamenting the soul-crushing loss in Pittsburgh yesterday. 4. Wonder what whitewashed, commie-free version of Labor Day the History Channel will present. 3. Paranoidly wonder what collectivist inanity the government is planning. 2. Recall amusedly that the collectivist plots will likely be undone by Joe Biden's big mouth. 1. Trust in Jesus, whose labor gives my labor meaning on this, and every, day.

5 Ways To Tell You Are, Or Have Been, A Calvinist: 5. You have two dogs...you know the rest. 4. Your favorite word is "decree." 3. You refer to your backyard as "New Geneva." 2. During your last fight with a family member, you felt the most guilty for screaming, "You Arminian!" in the heat of it. 1. While not knowing exactly how your free will was involved, you KNOW you were predestined to read this post.

5 More Ways to Tell You Are Jason Kettinger 5. Your theology is one long, extended baseball metaphor. 4. You like Babyface's music more than Babyface does. 3. Your first celebrity crush was Barbara Hershey. 2. You mix your mother's birthday up with the Kennedy assassination. 1. You know "The Cutting Edge" is the greatest chick-flick of all time.

Five Brett Favre Questions: 5. Can he hack it still? This is the same man who threw 2 TD and 9 INT in the final 5 games for the Jets, who were 1-4 in those games and missed the playoffs. 4. Is he trustworthy? He didn’t tell the Jets he was hurt. Eric Mangini was fired because of Favre. 3. Is he healthy? He’s no use to the Vikings hurt. 2. Why did he lie? He could have told us all on July 30 that he’d return. No problem there. I’m not mad like most people that we get constant Favre “Will he retire/come back?” coverage. I love Brett Favre. I’m just saying. 1. Will I watch every second possible of the Vikings this season? Absolutely.

Top 5 Things To Do While Your Internet Is Down: 5. Catch up on your Tom Clancy. 4. Whine like you are 3 years old. 3. Blame Joe Biden. 2. Blame Obama. 1. Say you will write posts for later, while not writing a thing.

5 Reactions To Last Night's All-Star Game in St. Louis: 5. The National League apparently sucks. They haven't won since the summer of the Atlanta Olympic Games. Carl Lewis won gold there. Yes, it was a long time ago. 4. If Sara Evans can sing that well, I want to ask her why she mailed it in on the night of her guest appearance on Nashville Star . 3. Geez, Albert Pujols is good. He didn't even get a hit, and he was still memorable. 2. Ichiro Suzuki might have been the most talented guy in the park that night, a park that contained Musial, Brock, Smith, Gibson, and Schoendienst. 1. Don't quit your day job, President Obama. That was a terrible first pitch.

Mindless Musical Blather of the Day I have this playlist of 180 songs, eclectic enough to make me look open-minded, and mainstream enough to make critics and snobs throw up. Anyway, I'm listening to Ashlee Simpson's song "Pieces Of Me," a guilty pleasure to be sure, and trying to figure out why I like it so much. I figured it out: she reminds me of Anna Nalick. Ms. Nalick had a couple radio hits awhile back, if you recall. In any case, my list took me next to Bryan White , which, if you don't know Bryan White, you should. If people were imprisoned for having too much talent, White would be sharing a cell in the Pop Music Wing (all genres) with Glen Campbell and Michael Jackson. I heard a country music legend (can't remember which one) say he couldn't believe all that talent was contained in one person, that of Campbell, and a critic described White as a "90s Glen Campbell." [Side Rant: If you refuse to consider country music real music, I don...

Bad internet has kept me from posting, but it's that time again! Oh, yes. A snarky top 5 list! And so: Still Five More Ways To Tell You've Spent Too Much Time at Christ Our King in Columbia, MO: 5. You think Israel was formed into the twelve tribes somewhere in West Virginia. 4. You wear a clerical robe while grilling hamburgers. 3. "This IS your grandmother's church!" and you are happy about that. 2. You hear a story about the nightlife of Copenhagen, Denmark...and it's not a joke. 1. You sing the three-fold Amen after changing the oil on your car. (Thanks, Jamie.)

A Protestant Reflection On The Catholic Eucharist I molest him not Whose pious senses Incline him to destroy The skeptic’s errand-boy, Rationalism. And no more just occasion For this noble refutation Doth time and grace afford Than at the Table, The Table of the Lord. Ah, noble Mystery The fulcrum of History Finished there Present here “Proclaim!” doth it declare. A danger it is not A snare it is not. Though such Faith, not all queries Doth it deflect, To receive Our Lord, who can object?

I have a confession to make. You know that show on the Catholic network (EWTN) called The Journey Home? I often watch it. I like it. I have for quite some time. Somewhat more scandalously, I've wanted to be a guest on the show. It's a show about former Protestants (I think also wayward "cradle Catholics") who come back to the Catholic Church. Even were I not considering such a move--which I cannot deny--it would be enjoyable for two reasons: 1. If you want to see passionate, Christ-like Catholics, watch this show. 2. If you've ever suspected that your Protestant church's theology is a bunch of convenient, anti-intellectual, fundamentalist nonsense, watch this show. [Sidebar rant: If you equate "fundamentalist" with voting Republican and/or being a moral traditionalist, I am NOT on your side.] The subtitle of the show could be "Pesky, Inconvenient Truths From Sane Christian People." In defense of non-loony Protestantism, many of these people...

For your enjoyment, a poker haiku, more specifically, one devoted to the popular game Texas Hold 'Em: You Cracked My Aces You cracked my Aces With a river spade flush King You lucky donkey.

Five More Ways To Tell You’ve Spent Too Much Time At Christ Our King In Columbia, MO 5. You think pie-eating is a sacrament. 4. The words, “beer,” “hot tub,” and “politics” sound like a good idea for a men’s retreat. 3. Drinking beer and talking theology is a given, not a cutting-edge ministry outreach. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) 2. You are convinced that Mark Twain is a saint (in the Catholic sense). 1. You say, “Thanks be to God” after reading a passage of Scripture in your personal devotions.

5 Ways To Tell You’ve Spent Too Much Time At Christ Our King Presbyterian Church in Columbia, MO 5. At dinner, you mistakenly recite the Words of Institution upon touching a piece of bread. 4. You intentionally try to pronounce words like “sit” and “being” with that Hannibal accent to sound cooler. 3. It is probable that you know the exact hymn number of at least 35 hymns in the PCA’s Trinity Hymnal. 2. You call up the radio station to request the Gloria Patri, hymn #732. 1. You’ve heard the phrase “large and startling figures” in a sermon at least 15 times. (And still haven’t read the book.) I just realized I could do three more lists like this easy, and I probably will.

I'm angry today. Have you seen these Scientology commercials? "You're not your fears, you're not your failures..." Or something like, "Everyone feels that void they can't explain...and it can only be filled by one thing: the truth." Do you know why I'm angry? Two reasons: 1. They're effective; and 2. They use "evangelical-speak." Watch one; you'll see that it's hard to disagree with any of the sentiments in them. Of course, Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6) so that's infuriating. This all says to me that we evangelicals need to stop evangelizing in the manner where feelings are the primary measurement of spiritual need. Or spiritual anything. Because if the language of feelings can be so easily co-opted as we see here, we might convince someone [Crap, it's on again!] of his need, but we won't persuade anyone in terms of the objective Kingdom reality wrought by God in Jesus Christ. I suppose it...

One of my favorite musicians is a man who doesn’t always get the credit he deserves for being a top-notch songwriter. Many of his songs are upbeat with lots of instruments, and I suppose he’s a goofy guy. But I heard one of his songs yesterday (though not for the first time) and I knew I had to blog about it. Let me state it this way: Have you noticed how many songs there are about broken families? It seems like there are a lot of them. Or maybe I gravitate toward them. In either case, a man I appreciate whom I have met, Jason Mraz, wrote a song called, “Love For A Child” on his 2008 release. Divorce is the theme, but he does it subtly in parts, so that you’re not driven away. He writes poignantly, When the house was left in shambles Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass? Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass, or the other way around? Well, I’m far too old to care about that now. [Me talking] The thing is, though, we never are too old to care. It’s even possible that ...

Top 5 Underrated Albums According To Me 5. Affirmation, Savage Garden—Though the title track is something of a throwaway (and I don’t agree with it) the rest deserves due credit for being very good, even compelling. You’ll first feel guilty liking it so much, but get over it; music critics are stupid, usually. 4. Dizzy Up The Girl , Goo Goo Dolls—The critics will kindly can it on this one, too; the guys should be very proud of this. I don’t even like rock, and I love this record. 3. My Own Prison , Creed—I know for certain the rock critics hate this. I also think that Scott Stapp manipulated scores of Christians into buying it. But a great album is a great album. “What’s This Life For?” is a great song, even if he uses the Lord’s Name in vain, and it’s the central question of life we should all ask. 2. Destiny , Jim Brickman—Jim’s other releases may even be more famous, but this record is so amazing! “Bittersweet” should be in a movie if it hasn’t been yet, and hearing Pam Tillis cap ...

Time for a list again, so: The Five Things I Believe That Might Be Impolite To Say In Public (until now) 5. I believe man-made global warming is a complete lie, told to make us afraid and destroy what's left of capitalism. 4. Because Mark Sanford had extramarital relations, I will not vote for him for president, or any other thing. 3. I believe it's quite possible to be a minority and a racist. (Looking in your direction, Judge Sotomayor.) 2. I don't know the final destiny of any person, including myself, but I do know you have no chance of escaping Hell without Jesus. 1. Imo's Pizza and White Castle hamburgers may be St. Louis traditions, but they are vile crimes against humanity's palate.

Tonight's Cards-Mets game was a classic for the baseball purist. 3-0 for the Cardinals, the well-pitched affair featured a complete game shutout for Cardinals pitcher Joel Pinero. He only surrendered two hits the entire game. What made this even more amazing was that the game was interrupted by rain for 51 minutes. Typically the starting pitchers do not return after such a lengthy delay, but both did, and were quite effective. If not for a late 2 run bases-loaded single by Albert Pujols, Mets starter Livan Hernandez would have allowed only one unearned run. You may recall Hernandez as the hero of Game 1 of the 1997 World Series. At this point, let me suggest that the casual fan, who eagerly desires offense in a game, scarcely understands the beauty of a well-pitched game. I have no disdain for hitters, but I have a special place in my heart for pitchers. And surely the noblest of all these warriors is the starting pitcher. We are far removed from starting pitchers who finished 25 ...