Safe Haven

"Inspiration porn" refers to material about people with disabilities where the primary focus is either on the "AB" caregivers and their emotional responses to us living our lives, or is some voyueristic exploitation of some struggle we have, to make "normals" feel good about themselves. I truly do understand why it's a problem, and why it can be demeaning. As one TED speaker put it in paraphrase, I'm not a hero for getting out of bed this morning. On the other hand... A cross is a cross. If someone says to me, "You inspire me," charity requires that my first instinct should be to take him or her at face value. Have you ever noticed all the dying and disabled kids who love sports teams? You might wonder why. The secret is this: Weakness, inability, and failure is a reminder of creatureliness and mortality. Athletic glory and victory is a reminder of the perfection of Heaven. If someone pays you this compliment, stand in awe. Yes, your ...

Yes, it exists. I'm starting to own it. Took me long enough. There is of course an idolatry of sex, and an idolatry of "normal" or "able," and I have been guilty of both at times. "If I don't end up with a normal girl, then I'll never be totally me, or attain my goal." "I don't want a disabled girl." Both of these are false, properly speaking. There is the mystery of chastity, and I have discovered a wonderful thing: You can't really properly order your sexuality, integrating it into the whole of your being, unless and until you acknowledge it is there, and that it's really not that different than anyone else's. All this being said, some of you are quite aware that I have not seen fit to limit my romantic aspirations to the disabled. Ahem. Honestly, I hope it makes someone uncomfortable, so that I have someone to share the awkwardness with! Seriously though, you might consider why it makes you uncomfortable, ...

Once you get past the hot-button issues, (abortion, adultery, fornication, homosexuality) there are those for whom Catholicism is a fashion accessory for their place in the culture war. The only way they feel secure is the knowledge that these sins are more grave objectively than others. However, if you pile enough situationally grave sins together, you still end up in hell. The problem for their erstwhile critics on the "cultural Left" let's call it, is that those sexual sins are actually sins. No amount of raging against Right-wing myopia changes that. The reason I don't call myself "conservative" anymore is that politics is no longer about thinking through issues with a Christian anthropology, and doing the best for the common good; it's about indicating that I'm not Them. And yes, to my mind, the Right is worse about this than the Left right now. And as soon as you call someone to virtue, either in rejecting these silly binaries, or in actu...

I went back and found some old comments on a Facebook post I wrote last year at this time. I rather bluntly said that we shouldn't salute companies giving small raises and citing the tax cut, because if they had the means now, they had it before, in the absence of the law. (Which, to my mind, is utterly uncontroversial.) Wages are due in justice, not charity, and our first goal as citizens and policymakers is to make a just society, as best we can. To give every person what s/he is due. In practical terms, that means paying people working full time enough that public assistance isn't necessary. Anyway, this guy named Ryan August said something like, "It's good to know there are socialist Catholics here to virtue signal," and I got mad, and deleted both of his year-old comments. As a side-note, there are plenty of people who won't make it across the Tiber, because they'll be d---ed if some pope tells them what to do with their money. Well, quite literally...

OK, I admit it, we are friends. [So this blog continues its tradition of ping-ponging between mindless sycophancy, and complete savagery of, authors more important than you.--ed.] Exactly. And I have been lingering around the Facebook group around this theme for a couple years now. I know how Amanda thinks about things like body image, and I'm almost absolutely certain she is right. I'm not even the target audience, most likely, but she assures me that any person can benefit from hearing her message that all bodies are good bodies. I know one thing for sure: I finished the free sample, and I wanted to read more. I'm just guessing that the Incarnation of Our Lord Jesus Christ figures prominently in the discussion as it goes along. [Catholics capitalize things they think are important.--ed.] You faithful Catholics will probably go, "What about gluttony?" as soon as you read the title, and I know Amanda has spent a lot of time interacting with such objections in ...

It's been raining often here for weeks. I had that semi-serious thought all semi-liberals and liberals have, that if it's raining this much this late into December, we've really done a number on our climate system. This isn't Florida; we have snow here. Anyway. While I usually love rain, because it reminds me of the waters of baptism, I'm getting a little sick of it. Last night, I thought it was starting to really get to me, and then I remembered the storms were in my soul. I went to Confession. Admittedly, I went to another priest, because although I can't quite figure out how not to break the heart of God, I didn't want to break Father's heart. Not yesterday. I had another image for rain that came to mind: tears. Heaven knows I have had enough of those. Rain is a plot device in many stories. Writers got together and decided that "It was a dark and stormy night" is a terribly ham-handed way to start a story, and a sloppy way to convey sa...

One of the things that we have to recognize at a minimum is that "real" socialism--where a central government controls all aspects of economic life--doesn't work. It doesn't work--and is morally defective--partly because it denies the existence of private property as such; that the prudential decisions of what one individual determines, up to and including his material needs, and those of his or her family, are not to be subordinated and denied for the sake of the State and its self-preservation. The first part of that, you'd get wide agreement, I'd imagine. One of the problems of various totalitarian regimes ostensibly devoted to socialism, especially in the last century, is that they acquired enough power that the rights and duties of individuals were ruthlessly crushed, and subsumed. As seems to happen, the regime apparatchiks never seem to struggle to find food, and frankly, a lavish lifestyle. Anyway, numerous people on the "Right" in countries ...

I know I shouldn't get frustrated. Evangelicals don't know the mess they're actually in. They can't. The imperatives of Sola Scriptura do what they do. You have to account and explain for the reality of visible Christian division, and conceiving of the church universal as invisible seems to solve the most pressing problem, which is how Christians could be united when their visible communities so obviously aren't. More than the apparent obvious division, which any snarky papist could use simply as a talking point, is the dogmatic uncertainty this push for a false unity tries to hide. The reality is this: Christians under the paradigm of Sola Scriptura do not agree on major  points of dogma and Christian practice. Just exactly how will you have a coherent Christian answer to any question? Some people within smaller "conservative" communities are doing yeoman work, rediscovering natural law, ancient creeds, and all manner of things, and for that, I...

People often joke, and are flippant about so-called "trigger warnings." I'm not going to do that. In fact, I'm giving you one now. This post may be hard to read, for all manner of reasons. If you can't make it through, I understand. I have had a lot of opportunities to reflect upon death the past few months. I think one of the more difficult aspects of death, besides losing a particular person whom you love, is being reminded of all the others you have lost. We can be told a thousand times, "It really wasn't your fault," and we know the right answer; we can even say it. And still we find ourselves saying, "Did I do enough so that they knew how much I loved them?" The fragility of life confronts us ironically with our complacency, the knowledge that in many ways, we take our days for granted, as though they will never end. In another context, I identify strongly with Will Hunting, the brilliant, haunted, abused working-class kid from Bos...

Some people find it very difficult to go to Mass. Other than the logistics of having a disability, I never have. Jesus said, "And after I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to my myself." The Church teaches us that at the offertory, this is when we prepare to offer ourselves and our lives in union with Christ. And especially when the celebrant prays, "Through him, with him, in him..." In a typical morning offering, we pray, "O Lord, I offer You all my prayers, joys, works, and sufferings [in union with Christ offered in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass]." Everything flows from Calvary, from the cross of Christ. Not as though it isn't finished, but indeed, because it is. Jesus wants to bring the power of His Cross, indeed, His whole paschal mystery, into every corner of our lives. This is why we celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass over and over. The petition of the Our Father, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done" is a re...

I do not understand this mystery: the Father's love envelops us and surrounds us, but He does not (usually) take away the Cross. In my limited way, this might seem like a contradiction, but it's not. I long to understand its meaning, but all I have is to love God in the midst of it. At other times, it has seemed like grief was a deep hole or chasm from which I would never emerge. Now, it seems like an alternate reality. It's not denial, but it's close, like a bewildered confusion. The world makes no sense now. It goes on, just as it did before, but I go on, with effort. There have been moments where I said, "I don't think I can do this," and Jesus answered, "Yes, you can." Jesus the great high priest is exalted, of course, but he is our brother. I can see him weeping with us, and holding us near. We need the hope of the resurrection, but sometimes, not yet. You can't look at the sorrow and tragedy in the world and go, "Well, that...

I just read a really long piece from a Catholic guy who's same-sex attracted. "Gay," if you like. He was faithful. He lived in a great community. He was ashamed and afraid for a while. But when he was honest, it seems like he faced less hostility than he figured. Well, yeah. True Catholicism is love for literally everyone. Few practice it, but it's true. I can't claim success in that practice, but I do try. With God's power, I will succeed. Anyway, this guy believed in the Church's teaching, so he tried every celibate path known to mankind. I believe him. I can also believe it's terribly hard. It's also true that he just gave up. And there is a cottage industry of people not only ready to celebrate that, but ready to place the blame on orthodox faithful, who simply believe what the Church teaches on faith and morals. If you ask, "Is it really true that God said..." the answer is likely "Yes." We don't follow the Church...

We're still struggling to get this right. This one gets broken all the time, in every place you can think of. It's actually not a wonder that King David committed murder to cover up his adultery, because illicit sex makes men unable to think clearly. How many people today are committing a worse crime to cover their shame? You can drop balloons from the ceiling of a sports venue to celebrate the chance to become the leader of the free world. Imagine the fawning press. Imagine the euphoria, and rightly so. You might even win. I dare the Washington Post to ask that man about his meditations on "You shall not murder." I would like to see it. Even the second-best newspaper in the land is apt to cloud the matter with an array of euphemisms. We let them, really. In a lot of ways, no one likes to be uncomfortable. I'd rather ask him if he thinks Villanova can beat Duke in basketball. The smoke from the evil incense offered at the wicked altar smells like springtime fl...

It went about how we all thought: the Democrats took the House, and the Republicans strengthened their hold on the Senate. In 2 years, the GOP will have more seats to defend in the Senate. That should benefit the Democrats. Events, of course, have a way of upending that, as always. I absolutely think this election was a referendum on President Trump. I also think he both hurt, and helped his party. The moderate GOP of Romney and Kasich is dead, at least in the Congress. They lost over and over in districts carried by Clinton. They'll keep losing, until Trump is gone. There was nothing to be learned for the young progressive Democrats. They'll feel vindicated by their close losses, and give no quarter to the disaffected moderate Republicans. I call all that a net negative for the nation. After all, the establishment found the same hostility within the GOP. I don't mourn for the loss of Senator Joe Donnelly, D-Indiana. I'll tell you why. Even if he's less enthusia...

Would it really be that wrong to kidnap Dr. Patrick Deneen, and force him to go on a car trip with me, and Confirmation Sponsor Guy? Does he even know how awesome that would be? [Probably not, since you said "kidnapping".--ed.] It's a term of art, OK? [It's also an aggravated felony in most states.--ed.] Details, details! Anyway, he would become aware of my elite fanboy status, which is fine. It's not my fault his books are great! Whether he wins the argument(s) is almost secondary to the sheer pleasure in reading the guy, in thinking his thoughts after him, and so forth. I definitely wish I had studied political science with him as an instructor! [Are you ever going to review "Why Liberalism Failed"?--ed.] Yes. My real life has intruded, but yes. And then I'm going to read Dr. Jordan Peterson. He's earned the right. I'm guessing Deneen has better things to say, but everyone is reading, watching, and talking about Peterson. I might want this ...

I was thinking about my favorite movies, and especially what makes them effective in terms of pathos. The writer sets up for the things he wants you to feel; he or she seeds the ground, so to speak, so that when the big climax comes, it doesn't feel forced, cheap, or silly. One of the great things about the troika of William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley--better known as Kirk, Spock, and McCoy--is that those actors spent a lot of time thinking about their characters in relation to the others. What would it be like if I were this guy, and these other two guys were my closest friends in the universe? Everything you would say, or could say, changes as a result. In the greatest scene in Star Trek history--the climax of The Wrath of Khan--the whole thing was set up by another scene in Spock's quarters. Kirk just found out that someone has blocked his radio transmission with Dr. Carol Marcus, as they tried to find out who is playing games with Marcus's Genesis proje...

I'm not the "Resistance," if you didn't know. For some, the presidential absurdity that is Donald Trump afforded them the opportunity to shout what they already believed even louder than they did before. One of the dangers of being politically engaged, and specifically in something that you're truly passionate about, is that you might think more people are with you than actually are. Not that what I think is--or ought to be--is determined by how popular it is, but depending on the audience, I try to calibrate what I'm saying to be at least in terms that those people will agree with, and understand. Persuasion can be an act of love, and a cooperative act of walking together, if you do it right. I'm not saying I'm good at it, but I do try. Still, to this day, I agree with Mark Shea more than I disagree. I believe there is probably a moderate pro-life Democrat in there somewhere. Like a lot of us, he was a Republican at some point in the past, because a...

I've always had a big bathroom. Ever since I was 12 years old, I've had a giant bathroom. It comes with the territory I guess, as a person with a disability. When I moved out of my house into an apartment in the city, I got another giant bathroom. Maybe it's not as big as the other one, but it's big enough. Most people spend a lot of time in there, for reasons both obvious and less obvious, and it got me to thinking. I remember a music video from the time I was in high school from that pop singer, Jewel. She's singing her song in the bathroom. Actually, it's a public one as I recall, and I wouldn't say the video is worth your time, on the whole. Still, someone asked her about it, and she said, "A bathroom is a sanctuary." She's right, you know. When Jesus said we should go into our inner rooms and close the door, and pray to our Father in heaven, it carries a deeper meaning than simply to go someplace private. After all, you can pray anyw...

"Votes are blunt instruments for expressing voter preference." I still remember this from my undergraduate studies. Voters are actually bands of coalitions, gathered together in the tent of the parties, which are supposed to serve as a heuristic for people who have better things to do. If I tell you that I voted for Bush twice, depending on where you sit, you could draw all sorts of conclusions. Some people would be pleased, and others would be horrified. Yet I can't show my work on that; unless I tell you what I was thinking, my preferences, my beliefs, everything about who I am is hidden to you. What if the heuristic tells you really nothing about me? Because I also voted for Obama. I might even say, it could have been a mistake. But it happened, and I don't think I was incorrect about those things in his favor. I still agree with myself on that. But this underlying philosophy that is so omnipresent in our society that we don't notice it--classical liberalis...

The primary reason is our faith. One reason the Council Fathers at the Second Vatican Council were skittish about Communion under both species is that the Council of Trent of happy memory had taught that the whole Christ is substantially present in one. That is, if you receive the Host alone, you have received the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Our Lord. Likewise, the chalice, if for some odd reason one did receive only the chalice. It is actually confusing for the ministers of Holy Communion to say, "The Body of Christ," and "The Blood of Christ," respectively. This teaches the average person that part of Jesus is in the Host, and part of Jesus is in the chalice. This isn't what Our Lord is telling us to believe! I'm sure you've seen the surveys about what Joe and Sue Catholic believe about the Eucharist. It's not good. Secondly, spillage and other desecration remains a perennial and valid concern. It is manifest silliness that Communion und...