Safe Haven

Time for another list, and so: The Five Creepiest (no offense) Aspects of the Rosary/Mariology For Sympathetic, But Questioning Protestants: 5. The Rosary's length and repetition. [Protestant Slogan: "Liturgy is Bad." And, "Anyone Who Prays The Same Thing Twice Is Up To Something."] 4. The Apostle's Creed. Apparently, even the US Catholic Bishops don't like "he descended into Hell" which has become "he descended to the dead." [Even the Reformed are generally comfortable with it, though we don't mean what we say when we say it.] 3. "Hail Mary, full of grace." Aside from this first line, everything else is objectively true and right from Scripture, mostly the words of Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist. (Naturally, one first must be comfortable talking with Mary and the other saints.) [Snark Alert: Has anyone ever pictured John as a Southern, American, suit-wearing, non-drinking, non-dancing Baptist while reading th...

Yesterday, my boy MDL had his 32nd birthday. Happy birthday, Chief. The same day as a girl from the early days of college that I've never gotten over. I might feel a tinge of sadness when she gets married, but most likely, I'll feel relief. We never actually dated or anything, but fellas, you know how it is. The feelings were nearly out of control. If I thought I had anything to offer her, I'd call her up right now. But it seems this will just be a wound I have to carry around. She's not the only girl I've felt things for, but she's the kind of woman you remember. I feel this one deeper precisely because no one (apparently) is loving her. I hate that. When people get married, you let go of things. It's not so bad. But when the fair maidens remain maidens year after year, and often lament their state, even a confident man starts to doubt himself. You do what they do: you start to wonder if there's something wrong with you. Neither is it hard to imagine on...

This is interesting, but not surprising. Pro-homosexuality people and groups will use the evidence suggesting a biological and genetic basis for homosexuality to erode what traditional Christians would call the moral culpability for those acts. These Christians would also explain the data thusly: Homosexual practices (which they view as sinful habits) by repetition incline a person toward continued performance of those acts, and profoundly disincline that person toward a discontinuation of such habits, and a recognition of them as morally objectionable (see, for example, Thomas Aquinas). So, the biological feminization of the brain in a homosexual male (and the like for a female) would be viewed as an explanation for that habit formation. Anyway, from an argumentation standpoint, it's not wise to use the biological evidence to erode culpability, for this reason: Predisposition does not equal predetermination. Leaving aside the morality or immorality of this particular case, we can...

I was reminded that I had hundreds of music channels at the back of my sattelite service, I guess you might say. So I settled first on the 90s Pop Hits, then the 80s and several others (including all the iterations of soul/R&B) before landing on a channel simply called, 'Beautiful Music.' I wondered how much more generic and uninformative a name you could create at first. When I left the room, it was playing an instrumental selection from what it titled, 'What The World Needs Now Is Love.' I am personally dubious that this is the precise title, but I know the song, knowing it belongs to Burt Bacharach. When I returned, it stated that it was playing, 'Evergreen (Love Theme from "A Star Is Born").' Now I know why they can't quite describe what they're playing. It's pretty varied, but every second has been incredible. It has the alternate title of Escape, to distinguish it from others on the Sirius/XM radio network, from whence it came. If...

It's time for another infamous list, and so: The Top 5 Lies You're Tricked Into, Watching Sexual Dysfunction Commercials. 5. All married people do is have sex. (not to mention everyone else) 4. All older people look nearly the same as they did at 25. 3. It's normal to have sex for four straight hours. [Alternate way of stating this: You wouldn't question yourself until that completely arbitrary point in time.] 2. Ordinary people in general are completely willing to share their problems with a national (perhaps even worldwide) audience. 1. Children are created by man and woman lying next to one another in side-by-side, matching porcelain bathtubs.

I don't know if anyone is reading this blog, but if you have, you'll figure out the meaning of this next poem quickly. I have a little more free time these past couple weeks, and so, it has been taken up with much prayer, discussion, and struggle. Anyway, when too many words tire oneself and one's closest mates, (and you still have something to say) poetry can sum things up. And I'm plain scared, though I'm excited, and I believe the Lord, the God of Israel, will give me rest. And yet here it is: The Darkness Who will peer with me Into the Darkness? Who will stand by me As I look into what cannot be seen? Who is my friend? Who will hear my words, "I know very little" And still say, "You are loved"? Are You the one? We say, "These are notions which must not be spoken" Our tribes, each one different Placing Another Outside While we vainly say, "Our Shepherd is the same." And He is. Praise what I do know, He is! And curse it ...

"Toward A New Theology" (Continued) Proceeding from the hopefully obvious assumption that Christians could, and should, do everything we can to maintain visible unity (such as it is, with the Church in a million pieces), I came across this. (The writer, Bryan Cross, is a new friend. Be charitable in the comments, whether you agree or disagree, for my sake and for the Lord's.) Up to this point in my explorations, I have been "thinking like a Protestant" as he describes with regard to these matters, because frankly, I don't know what else to do. Whether I can accept a doctrine as formulated and defended by the Catholic Church is of no minor importance to me. I'm a theologian; it matters that something of God be intellectually defensible in my own mind. Still, talking with Mrs. Cross the other day, I realized that the central question of my whole quest is whether the Roman Catholic Church is the one that Christ founded. Interestingly, I've had an ...

The 5 Best Things About Reformed Theology and/or Calvinism: 5. (And ironically, it can be one of the worst) Their understanding of predestination. While it may well lead to monstrous determinisms, according to some, had I been a member of the Dutch Reformed Church at Dort, I know which side I'd choose. A brief note to Drs. Walls and Dongell at Asbury--and it is spoken with all the charity I can muster--your book stinks. Did you purposely avoid the relevant scriptures, or was it a mistake? 4. Biblical fidelity. Leaving aside the critiques which come from many quarters on this point, (and many others) there should be no doubt that the Reformed value the Bible and its teachings highly, and their reputation for knowledge and zeal for God's Word is well deserved. 3. John Calvin. Now, before you jump on me, and I get letters from Hillaire Belloc's grandson and the Servetus Admiration Society reminding me that Calvin was a heretic and a monster, let me point out that, while far fr...

My lists of 5 are spreading. Seeing Tim's list there, then, I must do my own. [Warning: Hopelessly mainstream and popular. Logic: If real people (not art-house snobs) don't hear it, it ain't "groundbreaking" is it? And it's my list! My 5 Most Influential Albums (that is, to me) 5. Weezer, by Weezer. Known by fans as "the Blue Album" for its blue cover, this disc restored some of my faith in rock. And though I love deep lyrics, this album may prove that they aren't necessary. 4. August and Everything After, by Counting Crows. Adam Duritz (lead singer and songwriter) may be weird, and you can listen 50 times without understanding, but I defy you not to enjoy and sing along. 3. The Day , by Babyface. Not even his best release, but made when he was at the height of his influence in 1996, and not a weak track on it. 2. No Fences , by Garth Brooks. This isn't his best one either, (you can frankly make an argument for all of them) but this made sur...

During this season of theological exploration/appreciation, I dutifully present: My 5 Favorite Words in Catholicism (snarky, affirmative, hopefully humorous comments included) 5. Reconciliation [Because if you are not "down with" confession and pardon, you have major issues, dawg!] 4. Tradition [The defense against chronological snobbery since 33 AD] (Note: I know the phrase "chronological snobbery" is in a book, but since I've not read it, please don't sue me.) 3. Magisterium [Presumptively ensuring that the essentials of faith are not defined by warm fuzzies] 2. Eucharist [Mysterious, possibly even creepy, and complicated? Yes. Superior to Zwinglianism? Infinitely.] 1. Charity. [How Catholics define saving love, to distinguish it from seedy, immoral romance novels]

Top 5 Ways To Tell You Are Theologically Confused: 5. You read theology and say, "He doesn't sound like a [insert denomination]." 4. You start paying acute attention to the differences in Bible translations. 3. You even pray confused. 2. You make up words to describe your confessional position. 1. You start asking Jesus what his confessional position is.

"Toward A New Theology" Part 2 (more explaining) To follow up with the last post, it would seem that any fellow-feeling between Protestants of different stripes would at best be based on those early creedal statements to which all serious Christians adhere, knowingly or not. But--and this is the key--large segments of Protestants do not even commune together! If there is any more uniting us than anti-Catholicism, you would expect this, no? Granted, in many churches, one can take communion "as a member of an evangelical church in good standing." What does 'evangelical' mean? Does anyone even know? Does it imply "not Catholic"? It sure sounds like it does. But do we believe that the Protestant dispute (which led to our separation) was a tragedy ? If we did, we would do everything in our power to avoid it, as we say the great Reformers did. But did they? Do we today? I love and appreciate the Reformed contribution to the theological soup after th...

"Toward A New Theology" I have to write this post; I may not want to, in a certain way, but it must be done. I borrow my title from a series by my good friend and colleague, Timothy R. Butler. In any case, a brief explanation is in order. In recent weeks and months, I have become increasingly concerned about what I sense is a certain theological relativism inherent in Protestant Christianity. To state it cleverly, the great strength of Protestantism is generally a lack of hierarchical authority; its great weakness is a lack of hierarchical authority. As a result, members of different Protestant communions talk of a "unity" in "the essentials" which strikes one as vague at best, and presumptuous at worst. Commendably, however, these essentials deal quite directly with the person and work of Christ, best expressed in creedal form by the Apostles,' Nicene, Athanasian, and Chalcedonian, in no particular order of importance. (I have yet to find a non-...

5 More Ways To Mock Barack Obama 5. Point out that while the president may be the Tiger Woods of politics, (in more ways than one) sometimes Tiger hits it straight in the water. 4. While acknowledging that he is a "rock star," humbly point out that Nickleback are also rock stars, and they are terrible. 3. Remind him that Joe Biden is still the Vice-President. 2. Do not neglect to mention that the laws of supply and demand do not obey the mantra, "Yes, We Can." 1. Have 17 children.

Top 5 Ways to Tell You Are Jason Kettinger 5. Your preaching demonstrates the virtue of 8 minute homilies. 4. You cannot follow an outline. 3. You say, "Are you kidding me?" every half hour. 2. You've choked on Coke and belligerent comments at the same time. 1. Your favorite word in the English language is, "allele."

Someone please remind me not to listen to sappy, broken-hearted songs about divorce from Don Henley before my Marriage and Family Counseling class. Or maybe don't. I just know all this talk of communicating, digging under surface emotions, and staying connected has me wondering wistfully if my parents ever tried any of that. Now, I love Don Henley, but I know that this popping into my over the last weeks has more to do with those secret kid hopes that our parents would reconsider themselves. It's too late for me; Dad died a long time ago. I wanted to know if I was crazy, so just my luck, I found myself in a conversation with a fellow seminarian whose parents divorced, and I asked him. He said no, he'd had that thought and hope since he was fifteen. It made me wonder if Dad would've said anything like this to Mom had he had the chance. Maybe things would have been different. At least one thing. I have enjoyed reading Sara S. Katz's column "Single in the Suburb...

5 Ways To Effectively Mock Barack Obama 5. In your best Obama intonation, say, "They SAID we couldn't... [insert ridiculous or entirely commonplace happening here]..."yes, we can." e.g. "They said we couldn't eat crunchy peanut butter on our PB+ J sandwiches...yes, we can." 4. Show up at the White House and declare that you are making a citizens' arrest of Timothy Geithner. [4A. Rob a convenience store and demand a Cabinet post. Not really; I'm just saying.] 3. Sneak into the Oval Office while he's there, sit in the chair across from him and simply say, "Joe Biden? Seriously?" 2. Send him 7 hours of audio, solely comprised of John McCain's laugh. 1. Make an obscene amount of money, claim a huge tax write-off, and give the rest to a Catholic family charity.

One of my noblest and closest mates, Timothy Butler, urges me to rethink my tacit support of Brandy's line, "I'm young but I'm wise enough to know that you don't fall in love overnight." I began by defending it on the grounds that love at first sight is 1) uncommon, and 2) unwise. Both he and another interlocutor stated in sum that I ought not judge those who have experienced it, and that pre-emptively deciding that it was unwise creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. I note and accept Butler's conterexamples from history and literature, but I offer this counterpoint: The moral/cultural situation in which love at first sight was permitted, and even encouraged is light-years from our situation today. The song also having been born in that same context, it is a profound testimony to the pain created by the folly of love at first sight. Though I will concede that the next line may vindicate Butler: "That's why I thought if I took my time, that everythi...

Five Signs You May Be a Trekkie: 5. You woke up wondering what the stardate was. 4. You enjoy drawing pictures of the USS Enterprise in all its incarnations. 3. You know the Trek rationale for why there were two pilot episodes. 2. Your last hopeless situation caused you to shout, "Kobayashi Maru!" 1. You own a phone that looks like the Enterprise.

Five Signs You May Be Called to Preach: 5. You think the nation's political leaders would be better served by reading and writing laws in Koine Greek. 4. You say, "There's a lesson in that" every time you watch sports, and your name is not Bob Costas. 3. The word "cheesy" has utterly no meaning to you. 2. You say "we" every time you pray, even when you're alone. 1. You have more books than friends.